It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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