Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
