He disabled his match.com account in front of me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
