Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
