I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
