It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
