just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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