your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
