I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
