i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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