and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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