Pappa wants mamma naked
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is Oprah even human
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
