I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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