how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
