Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
