We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
