if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
