You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
