some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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