What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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