Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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