i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
