I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
