you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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