i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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