GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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