he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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