My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
