I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
