this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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