Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
