Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
