I wanna bring you to show and tell
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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