They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
