Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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