so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Two words: nipple clamps
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