He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
