laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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