I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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