with your own penis?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
