I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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