You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
