I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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