Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
