Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
