Heybabeimwearingurpanties
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
