Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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