Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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