So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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