i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
