i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
