So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
