If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
