Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
