I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
