week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
