Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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