Im at strip club and am horny
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
